[Communication Challenge] Day 9: Be Brave
Wow! Look at you! If you’ve been following along and made it to Day 9, you’re here reading it and giving it your time and attention then you ROCK!! Make sure you’re doing your best to apply the information so you’re getting what you came here to this 10-Day Communication Challenge in the first place for! I hope you performed some small random act of kindness, and that you got to feel the zing in your arms and the tingle in your toes that comes with doing something good for a total stranger!
Given some of the bumps and bruises and lessons learned the hard way in life, it actually takes quite a lot of courage to communicate. Very often we don’t say what we want, because we’re afraid we might make someone mad, or hurt someone’s feelings, or sound “stupid,” or be laughed at, etc. It can be pretty scary to really speak what you feel or think, but few of us consider what the cost to ourselves and to life is when we say nothing?
As I explained in yesterday’s podcast, some of the most life-changing experiences women have had in their personal one-on-one coaching with me has been our taking inventory on the cost to themselves, their family members, and to Life that came about because of the things that went unsaid. It may be scary to ask that question or make that statement to someone, but the inner turmoil you feel when you don’t say anything is often far more uncomfortable than the short term stress of keeping quiet!!
So, take a deep breath, stand tall, and hold your head up high because it’s time to be brave and this lesson will help you do it!
“Like timidity, bravery is also contagious.”
Why Bravery Is Beautiful (Even If It Looks Weird)
If you listened to today’s podcast, there’s nothing wild or crazy being suggested, but the idea is for you to understand that when you are taking any action in the direction of more communication to does require an act of courage and bravery to pull it off!T
The reason for this isn’t because you’re slow, dim-witted or “just not cut out for communication.” It’s not because you’re an “introvert” who has some inherent personality glitch that means you don’t want to talk to people. It’s practically mathematical. It simply has to do with how many times you’ve been punched in the face from information or experiences you didn’t know how to stand up to, vs. the number of times you reached out, reached up and tried to take a bite out of life yourself.
The more INcoming stuff you’ve had, the harder it can feel to make OUTgoing stuff happen. The modern social media age can make for a constant bombardment of incoming messages. If you’re not making sure to take up space, speak your mind and stand up for yourself, then your “communication” muscle will get weaker and weaker and weaker.
Sometimes to make things happen you need to break the “brave” barrier and just get out of your head and do something wild and crazy and weird so that all those walls of being “socially appropriate” can come tumbling down.
Here’s a fantastic example from the 90’s hit sitcom, Friends, which shows what happens when Rachel follows Phoebe’s lead and let’s go of being concerned with what other people think of her to just run and have a good time!
Did you notice how Rachel’s concern of what strangers thought of her caused her to behave in a way that harmed her actual friend’s feelings? Did you also notice the difference in Rachel’s enthusiasm level while running Phoebe’s way as opposed to her “normal” way? Rachel conquered her fear of getting funny looks from strangers, and her payoff was that she had a blast!!!!!!
Now it’s your turn. Challenge yourself. BE BRAVE and tell us what you did in the blog comments below!
Here are two more examples we discussed on the call for you to compare the self-esteem street artists Jae West and Amy Pence-Brown.